I have not been writing poems recently. To open your laptop with the intention to write is easy – I write whatever even if it’s not very good. But with the intention to write poems it is much harder. I can’t say that October’s poems were any good, I didn’t like many of them myself. It’s really hard to pressurise yourself into that frame of mind – it’s a feeling that does come naturally and will come to me every now and then.
I also like writing songs. The difference is that a poem can be read by almost any voice, but the song cannot. It has a particular rhythm to work. I don’t want to sing for you on my blog! The whole intention of this blog was just to write. Not songs, no related YouTube channel – nothing like that. Just words that can be interpreted by anyone and anything. With songs it has a particular way of being said and interpreted. That’s why when I put lyrics of a song out for you to read it didn’t go down very well. My very ill-wisdomed self thought you could read it in the same way, but I am not a magician with words as others are. Some authors can put a rhythm through their words and anyone can see it. I am not that person. That magician. I aspire to be, but I am not there yet. Time with teach me the great lessons so I can perform well without knowing it… hopefully. *gulps down all the tea that has gotten cold whilst I have been writing*
I want to be able to write a poem soon. I don’t know if the feeling will come to me? But I can see it slowly but surely coming back to life. In my gut I can imagine a big blob of poeticness and it is climbing up through my chest and soon it will come out of my mouth and travel to the hands where I shall type it all out. That big blob is red, and green, and grey. All colours. Not blue. The blue blob seems negative. The blue blob is what is coming out of my mouth right now and I’m going to put it in a bag and chuck that bag as far as I can. Goodbye!
I used to think,
I was better alone.
Why did I say I want to be on my own.
Why did you leave, think I was good without you.
Because I’m not, I’m not healing, I’d rather be too.
So next time you make a mistake like that,
Don’t be blind and don’t be a rat.
I wish you’d understand,
I want you here not there.
And you know it because you love me and you really do care.
It’s hard to speak to you,
Via text and in words.
You don’t understand,
How much it hurts.
Today I wanted to do something I bit different than what you have already seen so far this December. Because all I really have done is the popular lifestyle edge of things rather than the real, raw Erin. I like to write mostly about what is right and wrong – what is different and similar – and how we can decide which is which. Through the perspective of society we just have to get on with life and believe that some things are true in order for us all to understand each other. *sips tea*
Us, we just have to get on with life and not question the right or wrong. Otherwise things get confusing. If we take away the distinction between what is by law and morally right or wrong we are left with nothing. And, this is where it gets confusing, because we all have different morals. Religion helps people have their own morals shared with other people. This is what a religion is. This is why, at the moment in England, people are trying to get veganism through Parliament as a philosophical belief.
I think we should take the stigma away from religion. Society trains our eyes to see religion as something Holy or Godly and blessed. But it’s not. It can just be a group of people believing in the same thing, like veganism for example. Or it can be ungodly. It can be dangerous. We look back in history at so many people discriminating other religions. So many people misunderstanding each other. So many people not listening to what you have to say and why you believe in what you do. And that’s all it is. Hitler didn’t listen and therefore created the controversy which was the Holocaust. He wasn’t used to listening, he had been brought up so terribly and believing within his family how he should go on with life. I don’t think he had much of a choice to not have not listened to what was said in his early life. Then after that, he blocked *gulps tea* out other voices.
I hope that what I have just said hasn’t hurt anyone. I know some people who will not like what I have said – and please let me know so that I can educate myself and not say it again. I feel though that I have to say what I have to say.
Religion is problem, but it’s not wrong in my morality. *looks at the bottom of mug to see there’s no tea left*
I’ve came to the end of my tea so I think this is now I time that I should summarise the post a bit. I have lots to say on this subject, but all I feel I’ll do is cause an argument (maybe I already have). Please tell me your thoughts on this post. It’s definetely more my usual self than the lifestyle post that Blogmas/the media (speaking as if it’s a person) loves. I would like to not misunderstand your beliefs so please let me know what you are thinking in the comments or in an email (if you would like it to be private).
I hope this post makes you think and not worry.
I’m super tired – I’m not going to lie to you. Blogmas is a somewhat stress and I think it’s because I only have 24 hours between posts that I don’t get much response. But of course, that’s really not your fault. I find it hard to read other people’s blogs as fast as the posts get published – and most bloggers know that commenting on other blogs helps bring traffic towards your blog. That’s not why we really do it in the end though. After the struggles of the first year of blogging everything seems to get more and more laid back and easier to do. So we read these blogs more for enjoyment and inspiration.
And it some ways it gets much harder as the years go on too.
You set expectations for yourself to achieve. You have a schedule and a way of writing that you can easily do but no audience enjoys. Blogging is hard, but it has many benefits too. When you get into busy seasons – like the one we are in now – there is a lot more pressure for us. I could imagine that about 2/3 of the people who have the Internet produce content – or more. So this stress is broad. It shouldn’t be. These seasons should be effortlessly written about and enjoyed as we produce content for you! I can’t say that blogging is over-saturated like YouTube – but other social medias like it are. If you want to get noticed on Instagram you do have to pay money. I don’t think that should be how things work – but not everyone can get noticed, speaking honestly.
Sorry for a bit of a moan. I couldn’t bring myself to write the “5 Ways to Get Into the Christmas Spirit” post that I said might be good. But I do have to do it today as I have five busy days ahead where I will not be able to write any blog posts on the nights before! I don’t think all the tea in the world could get me through this.
I know it’s a bit of a mismatched post and it’s not edited but I just wanted to say everything and make it readable content so I can get posts up for you this chilly December.
After finishing this post I’m going to start a Doctor Who and get some Christmas presents wrapped up – then I’ll come back to blogging, have a shower and get an early night. How are your days going? Are you keeping up with the fast pace movement of the media right now? I can’t say I am 😂 😂
Science is a theory proven by science therefore making it true enough to base where we come from. Because we don’t know. Maybe God did. How can we find out? We can’t.
But how far does the concept of truth go? We’ve created this words and their meanings – but how far do they reach out to others. Is truth really what we think it is? Do some people have insights into different worlds and being back information to tell us but do it sneakily in the form of ‘fictional books’.
What really is language if what only defines it is language?
A thought for you to feed on.
I’ve not written in too long. My Instagram captions always seem to go off on tangents and you like those… but I can never go on a tangent if I want to! I was just lying in bed this evening thinking about how I could stay up until tomorrow doing all the things I need to and only have to shop tomorrow. Only if I weren’t tired!
I’m usually quite afar from my phone at night. It’s probably because it’s the weekend that I’ve decided to just break those rules. I suppose I am quite a healthy person with screen time but recently I found myself emerged in a game and I couldn’t stop playing it! I have three ‘games’ on my phone and I usually don’t play. These devices for me are mostly for interaction not for entertainment.
I have not edited this – which I would like to do. After I have published this post I will edit it and post it to my Instagram all finished (@kittyjadeonline)
What do you use your phone for? Everything?
Some people use theirs to read books but I find that just a bit too far. I love heading out to the library or bookshop and be able to come back and pick up a book. The real pages. And having an iPhone SE (which is the same size as a 5 or 5S) reading would be very hard on this 😂
So yes, I’ve gone off on a tangent!
Books are really special to me. Only in school recently did they start talking about genres and which genre you like the most. I realised that I really don’t have a particular idea of book that I really like/dislike. Weird?
I generally just go to the teen fiction section of my local library (the section which is very small) because no, I’m not an adult and no way am I reading Rainbow Magic 😂
I think some people assume that teenagers are procrastinators and are anti-social, prone to mental health “issues” (a topic of which I would like to talk about, especially its stereotypes). Everyone is different. This is an age where you decide who you want to be.
Anyway, I’d better get back to reading and go to sleep. I have a lot to talk about so tomorrow I’ll write some more posts? Let’s see if I remember 😆
*lots of laughing emojis later*
And if you have been DMing me (via Instagram) for collaborations I will be sending across some drafts tomorrow.