The Beginning of a Greater Journey | Songwriting

My introduction to the world… I started life with longer years but they keep on getting shorter. Well, in my head anyway.

Here’s a song I wrote on the subject, and I’m just too self-concious to post the tune. But maybe if you keep up with my Instagram it will be on My Story…

Writing songs is something I do all the time, I think maybe I should start putting them out there, along with the poems and stuff. I know what’s more popular, but they say to be yourself?

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Taken from my Instagram @kittyjadeonline

And another year passes.

My mind goes old.

Not my fault, it just goes so quickly.

And I’m speeding up the pace as every year goes faster…

Than the last.

 

And as every year grows longer.

I set more goals.

But it keeps on getting faster.

My mind grows old.

Oh what am I gonna do without it anymore?

Without the time that I could of spent some more.

And the pace it gets faster as,

My mind grows older.

And I don’t know what to do anymore.

 

Faster and faster. Around they go.

Faster and faster. To hope I say no.

What am I gonna do without it anymore…

Without the pace as it quickens:

I’m really old.

Now.

Goodbye.

Who Is This Erin Anyway?

Who is this Erin anyway?

Erin is a weird person. She never shares her face on her blog because she doesn’t want to be judged, her opinion is enough to decide if she’s good or bad. And, that’s an opinion too! Erin used to write very long informative posts, but now they’re short and sweet, because she doesn’t have the time herself to read such posts. It’s best to make/write what you would read, and are genuinely interested in.

This is the first time Erin had ever written directly into WordPress, without previously writing on Word or Pages. She did this because she just wanted to put out what she was saying without overly editing it – she wanting to feel in a blogging vibe as she wrote about her blog.

And now she gets up off her chair, to go downstairs and grab her phone so she can upload some photos to place on this post.

She’s back now, she’s satisfied now everything’s in order. This is because she suffers from OCD. She is starting to overcome it slightly, stretching her allowance on schedules for a bit of a set back, without ‘working under pressure’ even though she sometimes thinks that’s how she works best.

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Erin is proud to know Zoe Ware – she is a great blogger, photographer and YouTuber. The fact that they’ve spoken to each other lightens up her day. Because in the future she can say “I knew Zoe Ware as her career was taking off.” Isn’t that amazing?

Similarly with other bloggers, she loves to know such wonderful beings just as their petals are opening to invite sunlight. She would list them all, but it would take so very long.

Oh, and her classmates. Isn’t it wonderful to think that the nerd in the corner will be the next Einstein, or that the popular girl will become this amazing blogger? Even Erin, the weirdo in the corner, has a blog. Not many people know, they’d call it ‘sad’… but at least she has something to do, something to set goals for. And in her art too! She loves to create her art, knowing that no-one has created before.

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She glances over at her phone, to see that her mum has just WhatsApped her. Ah, she loves her family. As she writes she is at her wonderful Granny and Granddad’s. So fortunate. And the biscuits, what’s a Granny without biscuits? Coming home from school on a Thursday to her feels so nice.

I’m Erin. Oops, I took over the narrator. But I’m here, I’m alive. And for once being awake isn’t a bad thing, because I wake up to so many hobbies, so many packed schedules…

With things I love.

And near the top of that list is this blog.

The Clouds in My Head | Poem

Dark and grey,

It was a cloudy day.

I couldn’t see through it.

It was in my head.

 

Light and blue,

A cloud or two.

I couldn’t see depression.

It was in my head.

adult black and white darkness face

Photo by Juan Pablo Arenas on Pexels.com

Heavy and yellow,

Clouds like marshmallow.

I couldn’t see around it.

It was in my head.

 

No, I couldn’t see through it. 

It was in my head. 

My head has no eyes yet the ones that face forward.

Because you’re never in front, I can’t see behind.

I’m not losing the race for the one who’s blind.

Why September Was The Worst Month of My Life | Recap

I need to tell myself that a new day should really be a clean slate.

I don’t know about you, but September was kind of the worst month of my life. But I can accept that, I really can. I don’t want to cover it up, I don’t want any of those events not to have happened… but I don’t want to do September again.

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I am very awake and alive to start October really well, and continue to do well with it all the way through. I can officially start creating leaf garlands, do more DIYs, buy candles and get cosy. I’m on a bit of a health journey too. I’m starting to incorporate workouts around my busy schedule and go running. I got on my school’s cross-country team, which is something, and because school hit back hard it’s a nice relax for me.

I have some goals set out for myself. I’m going to put them out on the internet to make them ‘official’. So I look at this post and think, that’s whhat people are expecting – let’s do it.

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I Had a Crush On a Girl In 1878

Evangeline May | 14th September 1878 

Oh, Mama, she’s amazing! She has loads of books and doesn’t care a fig about what she wears. There’s these tight cotton ‘trousers’ that she wears with some lovely jumpers, she calls them. Her hair is cut short and looks so out of fashion now, but on her she looks a beauty. It’s all naturally curled and a beautiful brunette.

She has two bags of presents for her birthday! Big, big bags too. She has her own camera! Honestly, you must meet her. And she’s so awfully polite.

‘I feel ashamed of you to take a liking of young girls with figure hugging clothes. I imagine she has hardly a figure. And jumpers? She a girl! And goodness what’s a camera?’

But Mama, I’ve finally met someone popular, well-off, polite and lovely. Aren’t you proud I’ve found such friends? 

‘Not at all. You disgust me – wanting to wear trousers and jumpers. And this camera talk. I hardly believe a thing about her. Your imagination has crept up on you again!’

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I suppose it had, Mama was once right. It was time travel? It seemed a blur to me, but I so loved that girl. I never caught her name, she was some sort of ‘Whovian’. To me that sounded like a different race! But she seems very human… even with a Time Machine? She called it a TARDIS and it was, somehow, smaller on the outside. I found it most peculiar.

The whole travelling bit has slipped from my mind, and if she wanted me to forget. I held onto it though. This girl astonished me. I thought, well, I thought I loved her. It’s so silly! No woman here loves a girl. Pfft, it must be something of the ‘future’, as she called it. She said there was past, present and future – and explained it a s ‘wibbly-wobbly’ or something like that. I had heard of such words but not like that. It seemed awfully babyish to me. 

This girl, woman, really was so beautiful! Yet all she did was wash her face twice a day. I did too, but I looked a right red tomato. I must ask her what soap she uses, if I see her again. I doubt she’d use cheap old carbolic like me.

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Papa said that I should begin writing seriously. But isn’t that what I do? I wish that one day I will publish these memoirs with that ‘Whovian’ lady at my side. She’s such a wonder! Mama says that now I’m 14 I should really ‘grow up’ but I’d rather kick off my stockings and go to the park with boys. Not sweethearts, however, I have never taken a fancy to boy. There’s rather that girl…

No, no, no. If Mama found this she’d be furious. I can’t possibly say I like girls more than boys. I have lots of friends, that are boys, and we sneak off to the park together. Papa says they are ‘urchins’ with ‘no propriety’ but no-one these days has enough money for school. Not even I can go myself. I have to learn ‘to be a lady’ and Mama says about ‘Finishing School’ in the years to come but you learn to curtsey and dance! It’s ever so un-scholarly. I prefer Mathematics and Literature.

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– All photographs in this post taken with my phone –