I’m stuck in my thoughts and there’s no fire exit, no hero coming to save me. I’ve only got myself.
I hate being in this mindset.
I wish I could be an optimist again.
Yesterday morning I woke feeling very, well, sad (I guess). I hopped in the shower, still not really awake, not knowing what was wrong with me. Then I started thinking so hard that my salty tears scented the heat of the shower rushing down over me. I honestly didn’t know what was wrong. I didn’t feel anxious – I just felt sad and slightly scared. Of what? I keep going back to that moment when all I could smell were my tears, and I still don’t know.
I began to come over this awkward feeling I had. My morning, for the most part, led out to it’s average state. Except:
My thoughts got a-hold of me as I was walking to the bus stop. The cool breeze snapped me back into that moment – in the shower. But this time I felt really pure. I felt a feeling that I haven’t felt in so long. It felt so beautiful…
Guess what happened after that? My incredible mind got me thinking too hard – again. I came into a sudden ‘trance’. I thought that this glorious happiness I was feeling was because something bad was going to happen. My mind thinks way beyond, when will come the time when there’s no capacity for anymore knowledge? Or, we could say, overly-thinking thoughts.
It felt like the most genuine smile I’d had in a long time.
Yet I was only yesterday.