I Wish I Could Be an Optimist Again.

I’m stuck in my thoughts and there’s no fire exit, no hero coming to save me. I’ve only got myself.

I hate being in this mindset.

I wish I could be an optimist again.

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Yesterday morning I woke feeling very, well, sad (I guess). I hopped in the shower, still not really awake, not knowing what was wrong with me. Then I started thinking so hard that my salty tears scented the heat of the shower rushing down over me. I honestly didn’t know what was wrong. I didn’t feel anxious – I just felt sad and slightly scared. Of what? I keep going back to that moment when all I could smell were my tears, and I still don’t know.

I began to come over this awkward feeling I had. My morning, for the most part, led out to it’s average state. Except:

My thoughts got a-hold of me as I was walking to the bus stop. The cool breeze snapped me back into that moment – in the shower. But this time I felt really pure. I felt a feeling that I haven’t felt in so long. It felt so beautiful…

Happiness.

Guess what happened after that? My incredible mind got me thinking too hard – again. I came into a sudden ‘trance’. I thought that this glorious happiness I was feeling was because something bad was going to happen. My mind thinks way beyond, when will come the time when there’s no capacity for anymore knowledge? Or, we could say, overly-thinking thoughts.

It felt like the most genuine smile I’d had in a long time.

Yet I was only yesterday.

Mrs Potato Head: An ode to self love and plastic surgery

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While there’s plenty of self love songs out there, this particular one struck a cord with me because of it’s universal message and unique portrayal. Made by the queen of visuals herself, Melanie Martinez, Mrs Potato Head is no disappointment. Haunting, bizarre, yet captivating visuals? you got it.

The video itself is riddled with symbolism- let’s just say that even getting to this point in the post took a very long while. There are so many important themes to explore, so I’m going to do a bit of a lyric breakdown/ analysis sort of thing 🙂

I guess this topic is quite close to me because I struggle with loving the way I look. I’ve even considered getting a nose job in the past as a way to try and get rid of the little bump on my nose! Most of these days now, I don’t even really notice it much…

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I’m Not Dead Yet | Social Media, School and Sadness

I’ve decided to write. What else could I do? I thought I’d go and draw in the garden but, no. I just came right back to my laptop and started writing. Maybe I don’t have Writer’s Block. Maybe that’s just the same feeling I get every week, ‘I’m not creative right now, let me watch Doctor Who in my room and shut myself from Earth for as long as possible’

As soon as I took my ‘break’, it didn’t feel better at all. You may think I’ve only been gone a day but really, I haven’t. I have been away for about half a month. Yup, not writing. And it felt awful.

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I Have Writer’s Block.

I have Writer’s Block, but here’s a post anyways:

I’m going to, today, tell you about my star sign – and what it means to me.

“Virgo is the perfectionist, the craftsperson, the hard worker and the analytical one. Virgo is here to serve self and others in a meaningful way. Virgo sees the problem and addresses it. Virgo is organized, competent and resourceful. Virgo may need a mentor and can become one too. Virgo shines bright when it has a large project that it can sink its teeth into. Virgo makes the perfect employee, as it wants to serve the highest good. Virgo is an earth sign.

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